Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
