I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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