I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize