this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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