careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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