Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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