I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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