whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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