SEEEEXXX PLEASE
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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