you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
