Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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