well I can't set my house on fire every night
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
