I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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