At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
