We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Screwed.edu
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
