I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
