i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
