Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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