You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize