You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
True college students do jello shots in the library
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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