So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
