dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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