how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
