You work out of a Hotel?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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