She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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