and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
