YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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