it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
