dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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