she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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