I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
two words...techno handjob
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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