Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
