Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
my shit smells like andre
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
