I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Randomize
