what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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