His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
