Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize