I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize