how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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