He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
