Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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