But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
