dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
