why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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