you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
