yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
