I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
