I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize