its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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