I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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