went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
