you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
