Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
