Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
