So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Your mouth is God's brothel.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
