i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
