so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
