You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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